shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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