when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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