went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
