I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Randomize
