I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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