dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
