tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
