My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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