have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
