No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
