Apparently you make a good broom.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize