meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You made out with two different species that night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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