I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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