i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
