I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
