i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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