Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
