If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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