You made me cry and you don't even care
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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