Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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