he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
