I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
