I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
