Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm both gender and math confused
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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