She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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