You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
