Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
