Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
