I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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