I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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