Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
