Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
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