Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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