After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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