I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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