i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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