I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
