Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
