Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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