If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
