thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
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My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
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Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.