Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.

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(386): after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time. http://tfl.nu/767v

Replies (59) Good night (36681) Bad night (1352)
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(432): View more from Texas

My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT

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(432): My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT http://tfl.nu/ckt8

Replies (93) Good night (7600) Bad night (1760)
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(573): View more from Missouri

You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.

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(573): You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes. http://tfl.nu/p4s9

Replies (23) Good night (6795) Bad night (2215)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.

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(608): I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday. http://tfl.nu/an09

Replies (34) Good night (2595) Bad night (11156)
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(773): View more from Illinois

How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?

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(773): How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom? http://tfl.nu/o0zg

Replies (42) Good night (2054) Bad night (5621)
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(503): View more from Oregon

His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.

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(503): His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit. http://tfl.nu/ykdx

Replies (45) Good night (5530) Bad night (1723)
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(64): View more from New Zealand

Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...

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(64): Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon... http://tfl.nu/s0w2

Replies (13) Good night (2623) Bad night (961)
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(815): View more from Illinois

How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?

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(815): How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back? http://tfl.nu/7gwj

Replies (5) Good night (1489) Bad night (799)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?

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(613): Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious? http://tfl.nu/m4yc

Replies (11) Good night (3578) Bad night (1023)
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(765): View more from Indiana

I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.

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(765): I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him. http://tfl.nu/g1zb

Replies (7) Good night (1519) Bad night (628)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.

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(303): I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION. http://tfl.nu/audf

Replies (3) Good night (1519) Bad night (560)
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(428): View more from

Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.

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(428): Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale. http://tfl.nu/liut

Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (370)
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(458): View more from Oregon

I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.

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(458): I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables. http://tfl.nu/1kx8

Replies (0) Good night (849) Bad night (287)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.

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(508): Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming. http://tfl.nu/osws

Replies (0) Good night (481) Bad night (290)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.

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(732): Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole. http://tfl.nu/eueb

Replies (6) Good night (576) Bad night (410)

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