Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
