Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.