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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.

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• (714): View more from California

  You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (601): View more from Mississippi

  We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.

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• (212): View more from New York

  There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.

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• (516): View more from New York

  my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing

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• (607): View more from New York

  You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day

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