she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I need to calm my uterus...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
