yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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