Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
A bitchslap is in order.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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