Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
