I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
