a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
