You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
