These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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