I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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