Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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