i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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