all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
