So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
