I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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