Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
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I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets