Already got asked if we're dating
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
