Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.

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  (630): I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof. http://tfl.nu/he9o
  Replies (4) Good night (1142) Bad night (566)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.

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  (413): Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go. http://tfl.nu/wjr6
  Replies (18) Good night (561) Bad night (1761)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i have a dinosaur tramp stamp

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  (303): i have a dinosaur tramp stamp http://tfl.nu/rh7q
  Replies (60) Good night (8197) Bad night (2096)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Why is your signature on my underwear?

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  (419): Why is your signature on my underwear? http://tfl.nu/8itl
  Replies (19) Good night (6107) Bad night (877)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.

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  (309): ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet. http://tfl.nu/oxv5
  Replies (12) Good night (5861) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy

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  (315): There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy http://tfl.nu/q2vq
  Replies (6) Good night (1938) Bad night (3392)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?

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  (847): I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control? http://tfl.nu/c36m
  Replies (10) Good night (996) Bad night (2304)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know

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  (608): I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know http://tfl.nu/g581
  Replies (7) Good night (2100) Bad night (936)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex

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  (203): I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex http://tfl.nu/1qp3
  Replies (5) Good night (1681) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"

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  (651): I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you" http://tfl.nu/co0c
  Replies (3) Good night (1183) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.

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  (303): as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking. http://tfl.nu/8b6a
  Replies (0) Good night (639) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.

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  (907): Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again. http://tfl.nu/nki8
  Replies (5) Good night (635) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  Next. Level. Shit.

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  (910): I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower. (1-910): Next. Level. Shit. http://tfl.nu/dulw
  Replies (5) Good night (1139) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.

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  (570): You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it. http://tfl.nu/ka5y
  Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.

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  (973): I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone. http://tfl.nu/3l6f
  Replies (1) Good night (226) Bad night (344)

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