Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?