it was like fucking gandolphs beard
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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