You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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