We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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