Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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