She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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