Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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