People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
