I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
